we offer a

Thursday 5:30 > 9:00 PM

Everyone loves sex so its natural to want as much as you can get!  As with most good things there’s a few catches and with sex they are called Sexually Transmitted Infections or STI’s.  From rest homes to parked cars to fancy houses in the burbs, STI’s are a fact of a sexually active life.  Very few people get to avoid an STI and they don’t stop us having sex.  No matter who, no matter where and no matter how careful you are an STI is part of a package that will probably effect you.  It’s not the end of the world if you pick up an STI but knowing about them and what to do helps.


If you think you might have an STI, you need to find out if you do or not.
Here are a few ways to do that:

To help prevent getting a STI, take a look at this Sexual Health Tool Kit

The sooner you treat an STI the better, for you and for anyone close to you.  Passing STI’s on to others is not cool. For this reason we have a free and anonymous Sexual Health Clinic at Menfriends every Thursday night from 5:30 – 9pm.  Our Clinician will check to see if you’ve picked up anything you might not know about – or take a look at something you are worried about.  If something is found, you will be given options for fixing  it.  The clinic is operated by a fully qualified male sexual health specialist, a Health Professional from  Sexual Health (CDHB) who knows pretty much all there is to know about a guys sexual health.  Keith is a good guy and totally professional.  He’s not judgmental and he knows all about guy to guy stuff.  The clinic has the resources and supports to test for all STI – not just HIV.

Appointments are not necessary, just turn up and wait your turn in the most amazing clinic waiting room you’ve ever seen!  A lot of guys combine a health check with a venue visit but you are welcome to come in for a health check only, free of charge.  This is a popular clinic so we suggest you arrive early.

Let’s face it, most guys would prefer not using condoms but they are the only and most effective way of preventing the transmission of almost every STI.  Condoms make sense.

Condoms come in all shapes, sizes and colours.  It can be awkward putting one on during sex so its a good idea to practice and have a plan for putting one on, especially with a random stranger.  It’s all about minimising your risk of the transmission of all STI’s.

The stronger a guy tries to persuade you to have sex without a condom the more you need to be worried.  Amongst other things, it means he has no respect for what you want and is definitely not listening to you.

The one STI that is universally unwanted is HIV and PrEP is a highly effective tool to prevent getting it.  HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus which left untreated or controlled can become AIDS – not good.  PrEP stands for Pre-exposure prophylaxis and comes in the form of a pill that you take every day, like the pill taken daily to prevent pregnancy.  It is recommended that condoms and PrEP be used together for maximum HIV protection.   Ask Keith at our Sexual Health clinic if PrEP is for you and how to get a prescription for it.  For many guys its free. As a venue we believe Condoms & PrEP together are the most effective Safe Sex you can have. 

++ Some guys try to persuade others to have sex without a condom ‘because I’m on PrEP’ . Unless you are also on PrEP you are taking a big risk believing his word. 

HPV stands for Human Papillomavirus – most guys have never heard of it but it is very common and easy to catch.  You can get it through sexual touching without even having sex.  Many guys who have it don’t show any signs and can pass it on without knowing.  HPV can cause cancer of the cock, butt hole and throat plus genital warts.  The good news is that you can safeguard yourself permanently with one vaccine and for guys under 26 its free.  Again, ask Keith about it.  This vaccine is strongly recommended..get it get it get it!

Problems in this part of your body are quite common, particularly for guys in the 16 – 30 age group.  Every guy should check his balls monthly but especially if you are in this age group.  Checking is best done after a hot shower when you’re hanging low and the skin of your sack is soft.  Using both hands gently roll each ball in your fingers and check for lumps or malformations that seem different or new.  Try to find the epididymis, the point where the chord attached to the ball and check for lumps or anything weird.  Also check for lumps under the skin of your sack.  Don’t be shy about asking your GP or sexual health nurse to take a look if you have any concerns.

Bare backing is anal sex without using a condom.  Most guys slip up and have condom-less sex in moments of hot sexy passion so don’t beat yourself up over it.  But that’s different to condom-less sex pretty much every time.  There is a lot of pressure not to use condoms; from the porn we watch, from the people we meet and the things we read. What it comes down to is the guy who’s wanting to ditch condoms is happy to take a risk of passing to you a STI.  Are you?  Often a guy doesn’t even know he has an STI or does know but that doesn’t stop him.  Bare backing with randoms on a regular basis guarantees you will catch STI’s regularly.  It also puts you in 1st place on the risk scale to catch HIV.  As a venue we encourage condom protected sex but we are not the sex police.  We recognise that it is your choice and we will not hold your choice against you.

The more a guy tries to persuade you to have condom-less sex the less he cares what You want.

Douching is about sexual health and comfort. Men and women who enjoy backdoor sex the best are those who are not scared of it and who prepare for it.  The ‘hope and pray’ method can get messy and awkward.  Douching, also known as Colonic Irrigation, is a way of cleaning out your colon and helps avoid discomfort pain and mess.  At Menfriends we have douching facilities within our Private Shower that can be hired.  We sell portable douche kits in the altsexcafe so you can douche anywhere anytime there is a water supply.  Key things to remember: use tepid/warm water and don’t ‘over douche’.  One irrigation will last approximately 4 hours.

Not all but most forms of sex involves a lot of up close and very intimate body contact.  Exchanging body fluids is part of that – imagine kissing without saliva, blowjobs without pre-cum..  Vaccines are the only way to stop diseases getting established in your body, some permanently.  Vaccines are not available for every  disease but are for some of the more common ones.  Hepatitis is one of the more common diseases out there and its the A & B strains that you will likely come into contact with.  We recommend the Twinrix vaccine to all sexually active young people.

Last but not least.  Sometimes we throw caution to the wind and go a bit crazy.  Most of the time we get away with it but sometimes we don’t; that’s called risk-taking and that’s what we do.  A good item for your tool kit is that little voice in your head that shouts Warning! from time to time.  Learn to trust your judgment not theirs, learn to back yourself and your decisions.  Listen to what your body is telling you – pain is not a requisite part of sex but it can be part of it.  Learn how to spot the difference.  Not everyone wants to bottom not every one wants to top…its always your choice.  Sex is supposed to be fun, supposed to give you and your partner insane levels of pleasure, supposed to be something everyone does.  You can have an awesome sex life if you play your part, so be adventurous and play smart.

We do this because we care... so should you.