Your Sexual Health
Everyone loves sex so its natural to want as much as you can get. As with most good things, there can be catches. With sex they are called Sexually Transmitted Infections or STI’s. From rest homes to parked cars to fancy houses and apartments, STI’s are a fact of a sexually active life. Very few people get to avoid an STI; no matter who, no matter where and no matter how careful you are, an STI is part of a package that will probably affect you. It’s not the end of the world if you pick up an STI. Knowing about them and what to do when you think you might have one is key to fixing it.
If you think you might have an STI:
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Go see your usual doctor or...
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Phone your local Sexual Health Centre to make an appointment or...
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Visit the weekly Sexual Health Clinic here at Menfriends. It’s discreet and especially for guys into guys. It is operated by Burnett Foundation sexual health professionals every Thursday night.
Free Sexual Health Clinic
Thursdays 5 - 7 pm
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Free + Anonymous + Confidential.
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No Name + No addresses
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No appointment needed
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No linking with your GP
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Provided by the Burnett Foundation
Sexual Health Toolkit
Use this Sexual Health Tool Kit to help keep yourself safe and healthy while sexually active.
The sooner you treat an STI the better for you and for anyone close to you. Passing STI’s on to others is not cool. For this reason we have a free and anonymous Sexual Health Clinic at Menfriends every Thursday night from 5:00 – 7pm. Our Clinician will check to see if you’ve picked up anything you might not know about – or take a look at something you are worried about. If something is found, you will be given options for fixing it.
The clinic is operated by a fully qualified sexual health specialist, a Health Professional from the Burnett Foundation. They know all there is to know about your sexual health. They are totally professional, non-judgmental and know all about guy to guy stuff. The clinic has the resources and supports to test for all STI.
Appointments are not necessary, just turn up and wait your turn in the most amazing clinic waiting room you’ve ever seen! A lot of guys combine a health check with a venue visit but you are welcome to come in for a health check only, free of charge. This is a popular clinic so we suggest you arrive early.
Let’s face it, most guys would prefer not using condoms but they are the only and most effective way of preventing the transmission of almost every STI. Condoms make sense.
Condoms come in all shapes, sizes and colours. It can be awkward putting one on during sex so its a good idea to practice and have a plan for putting one on, especially with a random stranger. Also have a plan for checking the condom is still where it needs to be during sex and execute it no matter how hot the sex is. Some guys slip the condom off during sex because they find it easier to cum without one.
The harder a guy tries to persuade you to have sex without a condom the more concerned you need to be. Amongst other things, it suggests he has no respect for what you want and is only concered about what he wants.
Douching is about sexual health and comfort; it removes shit from your colon so there is room for a cock...or anything else. People who enjoy backdoor sex can because they are not scared of it and they prepare for it. The ‘hope and pray’ method can get messy and awkward. Douching, also known as Colonic Irrigation, is a way of cleaning out your colon and helps avoid discomfort, pain and shit everywhere.
At Menfriends we have douching facilities within our Private Shower that can be hired. We sell good quality portable douche kits online or onsite at the altsexcafe so you can douche anytime anywhere there is a water supply. Key things to remember: use tepid/warm water and don’t ‘over douche’. One irrigation will last approximately 4 hours.
Bare backing is anal sex without using a condom. Its often called doing it raw. Most guys slip up and have condom-less sex in moments of hot sex so don’t beat yourself up over it. But that’s different to condom-less sex pretty much every time. There is a lot of pressure not to use condoms. From ourselves, the porn we watch, people we meet and the things we read – and sometimes you just won’t. Bare backing with randoms on a regular basis guarantees you will catch STI’s. As a venue we encourage condom protected sex but we are not the sex police. How you have sex is your choice and we will not hold your choice against you.
The more a guy tries to persuade you to have condom-less sex the less he cares what you want.
The one STI that is most unwanted is HIV. PrEP is a highly effective tool to prevent getting it. HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus which left untreated or controlled can become AIDS – not good. PrEP stands for PRe-Exposure Prophylaxis and comes in the form of a pill that you take every day, like the pill taken daily to prevent pregnancy. It is recommended that condoms and PrEP be used together for maximum HIV protection. Ask at our Sexual Health clinic if PrEP is for you and how to get a prescription for it. For most guys its free. As a venue, we believe Condoms & PrEP together is the safest penetrative sex you can have.
Some guys try to persuade others to have sex without a condom by saying “I’m on PrEP” . Unless you are also on PrEP, you are taking a big risk accepting his word as truth. “I’m on PrEP” is slanguage for “I don't want to use condoms” – nothing else. There is every reason to believe that they are not on PrEP because some guys do tell lies.
Doxy-PEP is a new tool for preventing Chlamydia & Syphilis (though importantly, not gonorrhoea). It stands for Doxycycline Post-Exposure Prophylaxis and it involves taking 2 pills (or 200mg) of doxycycline (an antibiotic) within 72 hours after sexual activity, and has shown to reduce the chances of acquiring syphilis and chlamydia. It is recommended that condoms and DoxyPEP be used together for maximum protection. There are risks such as bacteria resistance (Gonorrhoea is already resistant to Doxycycline) so you can ask at our Sexual Health clinic if DoxyPEP is for you and how to get a prescription for it, or talk to your GP about it.
HPV stands for Human Papillomavirus – most guys have never heard of it but it is very common and easy to catch. You can get it through sexual touching without even having sex. Many guys who have it don’t show any signs and can pass it on without knowing. HPV can cause cancer of the cock, butt hole and throat plus genital warts. The good news is that you can safeguard yourself permanently with one vaccine and for guys under 26 its free. Again, ask at the Clinic about it. This vaccine is strongly recommended..get it get it get it
Not all but most forms of sex involves a lot of up close and very intimate body contact. Exchanging body fluids is part of that – imagine kissing without saliva, blowjobs without pre-cum.. Vaccines are the only way to stop diseases getting established in your body, some permanently. Vaccines are not available for every disease but are for some of the more common ones. Hepatitis is one of the more common diseases out there and its the A & B strains that you will likely come into contact with. We recommend the Twinrix or similar vaccine for both Hep A & B to all sexually active people.
Mpox (formerly known as Monkeypox) is a virus that is not only transmitted sexually but also via skin to skin contact, body fluids such as saliva, and on linens or sex toys. It is relatively new to New Zealand, appearing first in a global outbreak in 2022. Like many other poxes it starts with flu-like symptoms then progresses to itchy or painful lesions that can take a few weeks to heal.
The vaccine is free if you're eligible (consultation fees may apply) so talk to your healthcare provider about it.
Problems in this part of your body are quite common, particularly in the 16 – 30 age group. Everyone with balls should check them monthly but especially if they're in this age group. Checking is best done after a hot shower when your balls are hanging low and the skin of your sack is soft. Using both hands, gently roll each ball in your fingers and check for lumps or malformations that seem different or new. Try to find the epididymis, the point where the chord is attached to the ball. Check for lumps or anything unusual. Also check for lumps under the skin of your sack. Don’t be shy about asking your GP or sexual health nurse to take a look if you have any concerns.
Last, but not least! Occasionally we throw caution to the wind and go a bit crazy. Most of the time we get away with it but sometimes we don’t; that’s called risk-taking and that’s what we humans do. A good item for your tool kit is that little voice in your head that shouts Warning! from time to time. Learn to trust your voice, not theirs, back yourself and your decisions. Listen to what your body is telling you – pain is not a requisite part of sex but it can be part of it. Learn how to spot the difference. Not everyone wants to bottom not every one wants to top…it’s always your choice. Sex is supposed to be fun, supposed to give you and your partner insane levels of pleasure, supposed to be something everyone does. You can have an awesome sex life if you play your part. So, be adventurous, be smart and have fun!
Also remember there is no shame in getting an STI. It's a normal part of being sexually active. Just be responsible. Get tested regularly, get treated if you have something, tell your sexual partners if you can so they can do the same, and don't have sex until you're clear to avoid passing it on.
The Burnett Foundation website has heaps of relevant info, services, tools, and articles. Check them out here: https://www.burnettfoundation.org.nz