Christchurch's Premium Venue

For Men

It's OK to be nervous

Its OK to be nervous!  A first time visit to a place like Menfriends can be a bit scary – most guys find it a bit of a challenge.  Sooner or later you’ll probably get up the nerve to visit us and then you’ll wonder why it took you so long!  On your first visit, take your time to look around the venue, see how things work and try to relax. Remember – you are in control at all times and our staffers are available with assistance or advice at any time.

What’s Menfriends about?

Menfriends is a two floor time-out space for guys where you can relax and be yourself, socially and sexually.  We would love to be able to cater to everyone but we don’t.  For details see our Access Policy under F.A.Q.

Menfriends offers social space as well as space for private hook-ups.  What happens inside stays inside and what you do is up to you.  That can be something or nothing, your choice.  Everyone is coming from their own direction – that’s good with us and it should be good with you too.  It’s about respecting other guys and what they are in to.  We are a no-alcohol no-drugs venue.

When you get here

When you first arrive at Menfriends you will be issued a large fresh towel and a key to a locker for your clothes and personal items.

If it is a first-time visit, tell the Receptionist this when you arrive.  He will point you in the right direction and explain where things are.  He is also there to answer questions so don’t be afraid to ask. There are two ways to utilise Menfriends – sexually and socially.  Try to do both; go at your own pace and give the venue a chance to work for you.  Your chances of meeting someone are a lot better if you move about.  When your visit is over, please return your towel and locker key to the Tuck Shop.

Other guys and You

 If you hook up with another guy then it should be with a guy that you want to hook up with. You don’t have to go with the first or any guy that hits on you.  

Even though it is rare, if you strike a guy that wont leave you alone or take a hint, advise one of our Team. They will help discreetly.  You do not have to put up with someone crowding you.  A guy is entitled to ask twice – you may change your mind. More than twice we consider harassment and so should you.  You can say “no” at ANY time.  At Menfriends it’s cool to be sexual and explore it for real, alone or with someone else.  Many guys on a first time visit go solo just to break the ice.

Our Team

 Our team is here to run the venue and ensure it remains a safe clean place to relax and play for everyone.  It can be a tough job at times so Team members deserve your respect and compliance with any request.  Please remember they are responsible for the venue and everyone in it, not just one guy.  

Hooking Up - How to

Some tips…

  1. Eye contact – if your look is returned – that’s  a good sign! If he ignores you – he’s probably not interested.
  2. If you find a hand between your legs you can safely assume he’s interested.  If you are not interested say so, move away or move the hand away.
  3. Some guys like to charm others with words – beware the guy who thinks just because you listen to him you are also keen on him.  If you are keen on him, respond accordingly.  Not everyone who talks to you wants to lay you so learn to spot the difference.
  4. Gentle touching or brushing against a person when passing is a good start – if they respond with interest, that’s a good sign.
  5. NEVER look sad. Being off your face is a guarantee you will be left alone and you probably wont be admitted anyway.
  6. Sometimes it just happens and you didn’t have to do anything at all.

Our Dress Code

Most guys just wear a towel around their waist but any of these work:
1. Towel Only   
2. Towel and top  
3. Fully clothed   
4. Fetish 

During Special Events

  1. Dress Codes during Special Events are not optional. 
  2. If you can’t handle the dress code, return at a time when you can.

Using a condom

Our advice is to use one every time and not let anyone convince you to have sex without one – it could cause complications in your life that you just don’t need.   See the Your Sexual Health tab for more details.  We are not the sex police, it is your choice and responsibility.  Just remember,  the harder a guy tries to persuade you not to use a condom – the less he cares about what you want.

Your Privacy

We will guard your privacy at all times during your visit and it’s a good idea to guard yours until your are certain you want to share personal details.  When you first meet someone, they only know the guy standing in front of them.  If you want it to stay that way, we urge caution in giving out your personal details.  Make someone earn your trust in this regard – don’t give your trust too soon.  If a guy is genuinely keen he will wait until you are ready to divulge those kind of details.  We do not accept phone messages, phone calls or pass messages to clients or staff for any reason under any circumstances.  While you are in Menfriends, as far as the outside world is concerned, you do not exist.

useful tips

  • Be realistic in your expectations. Sometimes Mr Right will be here other times Mr Right Now will do. We’re not a drive thru.
  •  In dark area’s walk slowly until your eye’s adjust to the light level.
  •  An open door is an invitation to come in – but not an obligation.  The guy in the room still has a choice.
  •  Loud talking/conversations are discouraged in sexual spaces – it’s very off-putting for guys getting busy.
  •  If you want it to happen inside 20 minutes you are probably in the wrong place.  It might – but don’t count on it.
  •  If someone says “no” it’s their loss, not yours.  Never take it personally.
  •  Smoking – you are welcome to smoke/vape in the outdoor heated garden.
  •  We advise you to leave any valuables at Reception.
  •  Considerate phone use in the Garden and Main Lounge is welcome.  If someone else can hear you talking on your phone, that’s inconsiderate.  We have free wifi for phone use.  Any person found or suspected of using the camera function on their phone will be permanently banned.
  •  Pass Outs are available on departure.  If you wish to leave the building you can return free at anytime within the same session.
  •  Some parts of the venue will suit you better than others so use the parts that you like.  The others can wait.
  •  If you see a guy you fancy carefully let him know. He cannot read your mind.